© 2020

Very Bad Monday

By Eric Anthony Kallins

It was a great weekend in Cabo. Partied until Sunday night, so what if the flight back to SF was delayed a few hours, still landed at 2:00 AM and you got home by 3:00. Just enough time for a few hours’ sleep, but that alarm at 6:00 was pretty harsh (can you say hangover?) You’d call in sick, but Mondays are that all-in meeting, and you’re scheduled to give the presentation this morning. You crawl out of bed and stagger up to the mirror. Got to do something with that face, you think, so you smear on some lipstick and glob on some eye makeup. Good enough, you think. You stumble around and pull a dress off the pile on the floor, and look around for some shoes. You can’t find a match, so you find two heels that are similar but different colors. Oh well, you think, if Katy Perry can wear two different colored shoes on Last Friday Night, why not you?

You clomp down your apartment stairs, down to the corner to catch the street car. As usual, it’s packed for the morning commute. Crap, I’ll have to squeeze on and stand all the way to downtown. But as you get on, everyone crowds, almost cowers to the back; even a few seats opened up. How nice, you sit down for the ride, everyone else is still packed in the back of the streetcar.

You get out at your stop and start walking to your office. Strange, but people who are about to cross to your side seem to change their minds and walk across the street instead. As you enter the lobby of your building, to your dismay, one of the elevators is out of service; a crowd of people are waiting for the one working elevator. Ugh! I hate crowded elevators! But when the elevator arrives, no one gets on, they all back away. Well, you think, I can have it all to myself for a nice quiet ride. You press 15, but wouldn’t you know it?! It stops on floor 3, probably someone too lazy to walk up one flight!   The door opens, and a woman screams and runs down the hall. Good, you think, saves me another stop.

The receptionist looks up to greet you, but her mouth just opens in stunned silence. An office assistant pushing a cart makes a sudden turn into what you know is a dead-end alcove. The office seems empty, but you can tell everyone is cowering in their cubicles. Finally you get to yours, and you made it to work! You kick off your heels and let your size 15 feet sink into the carpet, God that feels good! You look up to the clock, and 8:59 clicks onto 9:00. Perfect! You made it to work, on time…You’re here! You’ve arrived……

…..The Abominable Snowwoman!

Your laptop dings that the all-in meeting is starting, and today

You’re giving the presentation!  You smile coyly to yourself, “This should be fun!”